The “legally married” couple.
Werner and Dané – the “do the shimmy” couple
This is the story of our own wedding.
“being married is a decision you have to make every day”
All photos by Patrick Furter, unless otherwise stated.
Planning a wedding will always be divided into two categories for me:
- The physical details and arrangements of the day itself.
- The emotional reasoning for deciding why you would like to spend the rest of your life with that one person.
I would like to tell the story from both these perspectives.
Let’s talk about the day
We wanted a true to South Africa camping wedding, a whole weekend of campfires, singing and braaiing. We wanted to be able to catch up with old friends and get to know newer friends better. We wanted to make some new promises to each other, and we wanted to celebrate love.
Laughing and falling off a hay bale was not in the plan, but it happened none the less.
Destroying the wedding cake, maybe that was in the plan, maybe not, who knows?
The first thing we had to decide was the venue, we decided on Magalies sleepy river for a few reasons.
- The undisturbed tranquil beauty of the place.
- The sheer amount of space.
- The photo opportunities it presents.
- The people / owners are some of the most genuine people you will ever meet. (ask them about the waffle story if you ever go there)
The whole purpose of a camping wedding is to get everybody into tents. I honestly cannot imagine how we would have done it without the expertise of Rush adventures.
Rush adventures did the 36 tent set up for us. Let me explain the ease of this process. You phone them, you tell them how many tents you need, and then you forget about them, they come with their team of experts and tents, and within a few hours your camp looks like something right out of Game of Thrones, in other words, “Epic”
They offer different sized tents for the different sized people or people with kids.
Let’s talk about photos and Patrick.
We wanted the photos to show the people for who they are (none of that boring family photos etc), and if you have ever met my or Marleen’s dads you would appreciate how well Patrick managed to do this, as these two photos managed to capture both our dads exactly in the positions we have known them our whole lives.
In between capturing our family and friends, he managed to capture all the getting ready shots, couple shoot and reception photos.
We have worked with Patrick many times before and are always amazed by his ability to stay calm and keep shooting. When we first saw the sneak peek on his blog, we were so excited and couldn’t stop talking about all the emotions it brought back.
The day as it happened
First thing on the agenda for the day was to go for a walk in memory of my grandmother. She was a fitness inspiration for me, she walked to the gym almost every day of her life. We once photoshopped her ID so that she could walk the Otter trail with us (she was officially too old)
During the walk I remembered that it was Marleen’s birthday, yes I remembered all by myself, she did not remind me, no really.
We decided that we would spend the morning getting ready together. We were very fortunate to have Lauren Visser there to do the hair. (she owns her own salon in Pretoria) We first met her at her sister Andrea’s wedding, since then they were both always just a part of our lives. Weird how some people just kind of stick around without effort. Andrea made the rainbow cake that was “accidentally” smashed during the first dance.
Madelein Eksteen did the Makeup, we have worked with her a few times on shoots, we also filmed her wedding a few years back. What started out as clients have grown into a special friendship, there was a point where I told Roché (Madelein’s husband) he might as well be my best man, as he was unmissable in all the little details – from sorting out power plugs to fixing the kids’ bikes.
Marleen’s dress was made by the very talented Nadia Lemmer from Lemmernade+sugar. The dress was made from various doilies and pieces of fabric we collected from family, she wrote her vows on the skirt part.
Aunt Adri crocheted the shawl Marleen wore.
I wore two pins, a gold one my granddad gave me, and my grand mother’s 50th blood donation pin.
André Mostert from Motion craft Films did the video for us, we have worked together on a few weddings before. I have learned a lot from him, not only about wedding videos but also about action cricket. (We have been playing together for a few years now). As soon as we receive the highlights, I will upload them here.
His daughter was born a few weeks before the wedding, Yay, and congrats!
We entered together on the motorcycle with Muse’s “Madness” playing in the background, definitely one of the highlights of the day for me. We asked my brother Van Wyk to say a few words about marriage, then our friend Benjan (which introduced us to each other) said a few words about marriage and living together.
Making vows to each other after being married for 7 years is a very easy, very difficult task. The other person knows you very well, knows when you are serious and knows when you are not. You know what needs to be said. If you are not willing to commit unselfishly to the other person, then you should not be getting married.
On a personal note.
Why get married again, after 7 years of being married?
- To show that you are not just getting comfortable and winging it, but that you are actively willing to work on the issues that need working, and still committed to making and keeping promises.
- If you only see family at weddings and funerals, then maybe we should have more weddings.
- Being married is a decision you have to make every day, it should be a decision you enjoy making, something to celebrate more than once in your life.
- It forces you to look in the mirror and ask yourself am I the best husband / wife I can be, am I ready to put on a suit / dress and walk out there, am I doing my best to look good and be good for that other person I promised my life to. Would I want to be married to this person I see in the mirror?
We don’t have wedding rings, I have a little tattoo of an owl on my ring finger and she has a little tattoo of a bear. She only starts talking at 10pm like an owl, and my granddad used to call me “bruinbeer”.
We did tie a little piece of string around each other’s fingers just as a symbol of tying the knot.
We then went down to the river with Patrick and André to get some couple photos, a new friend / photographer Hannes brought us some pancakes, that was another very special moment for me.
We tried to make the first dance entertaining and also included the cutting of the cake in the dance. The song we danced to was “Animal” from Neon Trees.
Taylor Swift has been a topic of discussion for many hours / years between Marleen and me, I love Taylor, Marleen not so much. I knew Marleen accepted me and my taste in music when she gave an unforgetful performance of “shake it off”. The band sang and played a few songs, I even sang our theme song: “Jy, jy is my Leentjie, en ek, ek is jou Fishybolletjie, en saam, saam maak ons ‘n mean team, vir altyd”.
My mom was kind enough to bring her TV along and at the end of the night we all sat next to the campfire and watched Disney / Pixar’s movie “Up” with some popcorn and condensed milk coffee.
- We would like to say thank you to Jozhua for all the wood he chopped for the bonfires.
- Kerry and Marcel a big thank you for all the bunting and jars.
- Simon and Martin for all the stuff you provided and work you did putting stuff up.
- Erika for the sound system.
- Ma Hansie and Tannie Pietie for the Soup.
- Van Wyk, Marica and Benjan for the Music
- Johannes for driving the pine cones where they needed to be.
- I would like to thank Andrew and Marleen for the acoustic set on Sunday, was a moment to remember.
A lot of times when we do pre wedding shoots, the couple arrive on location and are nervous as hell.
One thing we learned during this shoot – all future couples should take note – pretend you are a small black baby labrador and do what a lab would do. It really is that simple.
Luckily Laura and Trevor weren’t nervous and embraced every opportunity to interact and gave us the opportunity to get to know them before their wedding which we will capture later this year.